Sweeping the streets and cleaning windows.
I have an education, yet I dust and clean toilets
daily.
A quitter or a half timer I live in the stars; Away
from the world in a place that only exists in my mind.
I cannot progress; Ten years from now my dreams will
be the same and I will still be here dusting tables.
LinkedIn informs me of others success; The green monster
rears its ugly head and question of why not me? When is it my turn to grow?
Life has to move forward, yet it doesn't for me.
The world passes by while I sit in wait.
My world is a cd, tape a leitmotif; Repeat,
repeat, repeat.
I know I can effect change but not so much in my career
without a green card.
America you beautiful shinning beast; Luring me in and
promising me the world but subsequently providing me with nothing.
A sweet dangling on a fisherman's line, little does he
know it will never help him catch a fish.
I would love to provide; Provide for the world like my
Father and Mother.
They lived and are living their lives happily knowing
that they have accomplished something great.
Even my brother has steady prospects; Something to
keep his belly warm when it is raining outside.
Was I born lazy? No fuck that! I'm not, but I'm to
scared to face my dreams so I procrastinate.
I procrastinate with my dog, I procrastinate with my
job and I procrastinate with my writing; My writing.
My writing that nobody will read because it doesn't
quite make the cut.
I didn't go to Harvard or Yale or Princeton.
I float through my 20s until they become my 30s.
Drinking, stumbling, yelling, screaming, laughing and
heart breaking little by little with every turn of the calendar.
The road less travelled. Go fuck yourself! 20-year-olds
worry for their future probably preying they won’t turn into me.
When my looks fade I will only have this mind, that to
will eventually rot away.
Sometimes I cannot be because of offense I will cause
to others; So I will sit on my thoughts and let them waste.
Flush my only brilliance down the drain so others can
smile.
I tried to direct my future by building a chair but
even that I failed; Moisture under my lacquer creating a cloud that will never
go away no matter how hard I scrub.
Have you ever breathed into a paper bag with sweet
dust in it? The slowing of your heart till you hit a level of calm...
Carbon monoxide poisons us creating our mind to turn
numb... That is a nice place to be.
I am not a depressant if that's what you are thinking.
In fact I am the opposite, but even a Buddhists mind can turn to dark mush
every now and then; A dark spread that you can swoop thickly over newly sliced
bread.
I have guilt over thoughts that never come to
fruition.
Maybe I just missed an opportunity and I was to scared
to step up to.
The real world doesn't want me; They can’t see my
brilliance.
Or maybe I never had the brilliance to begin with and
the real world just has no space in it for me.
Hollywood behind blinded eyes.
Why don't we live for now? Always behind or forward.
Can I not breath for now? No I have to breathe for the
future. I breathe for the past but never for the present; The present is lost
in time.
What is your favourite letter or number?
I’m not quite sure.
Blue, red, yellow, green. Yes, no, perhaps, maybe.
I want to sit in the rain and eat a meal. How would
that look? New York water getting into my veggie soup.
I want to celebrate something in my life. The next
thing but I wait as the balloons deflate and float to the floor. Nothing is
sadder than an empty balloon hovering above the ground.
